If you think pubic hair on a woman is unnatural or weird, you aren’t mature...– Stoya (via viet—nam)
Even though doctors say it’s because of me not getting enough iron, I’m becoming concerned about how often I get sick..
I say “I’m sorry” when something unfortunate happens to someone whom I care about. The only other person who I’ve heard say this is my mum. Oh my god, please tell me other people do that too, or this will be very awkward.
So I Googled "Why is marijuana illegal?" And this... →
I should get a cookie for showering A.K.A. doing something productive.
To all the meat-eaters out there wondering
Yes, I do bite the heads off of animal crackers first. —A strict vegetarian
NO. NO. STUPID WEATHER. You can NOT be a nice warm...
Is it just me, or when you hear someone speak with an English accent for a while then the voice in your head has one? I love my English thinking voice, it sounds so delightful.
Replacements for 'Cool Story, Bro'
gioespinuevaa: Fascinating discourse, chum Riveting fable, comrade Intriguing anecdote, brethren Perpetuating argument, colleague Sweet saga, yo Waste of time, jerk Spellbinding reiteration there, my chummy Phantasmagorical novelization, oh great one Interesting intellect, imbecile Trepidating bore, fetus Ballin’ gossip, dawg number 8 and 10 were the best.
eating at a fancy restaurant
thats-so-true: eating at a fancy restaurant Take huge bite of food waiter comes over to ask how food is from That’s So True http://bit.ly/H8GgO2
“Are you sexually active?” “lol no, we both just kinda lay there planking each other.” lol I’m so funny when I’m talking to myself!
mom: you're beautiful
grandma: you have grown into such a beautiful young lady!
mom's friends: wow, she's flawless!
friends: you're so pretty
boys: call animal patrol I think we just discovered a rare breed of dog
ka-ty: my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and there like, its better than yours, damn right its better than yours, i can teach you, but i have to charge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
During a trivia game in Home Ec.
Teacher: Next question: Name one type of poker game.
Me: STRIP POKER!!
Guy in my class: -laughs- strip poker? Really?
Me: lol c:
So I've basically decided how me and Josh...
Me: HI! I'm Rayan, yourfuturegirlfriendbutyoudon'tknowthatyet.
Me: Nothing, I absolutely love you! You're just so flawless!
Me: Can I have your autograph?
Me: *hands paper to him*
Josh: What's this?
Me: Oh nothing...
Josh: Is this a marriage certificate?
Josh: Uhmm...Can we get some security over here? FAST
Peeta: hey i just met you
Peeta: and this is crazy
Peeta: but here's some burnt bread
Peeta: i could make you pastries